Hedonism III

We were invited by our dear friend Ann, "The Travel Slut," to be part of The Krewe de Krazy Life group from Fantasy Fest and attend a special birthday bash for a dear friend at Hedonism III.  How could we refuse?  We have never been to Jamaica and we needed some sunshine.  Besides, how could we turn away a chance to party?  Little did we know how difficult it is to get to the island from the NW (and get back).  But with free miles on United Airlines and cheap AA tickets to Montego Bay out of Miami we found a schedule that was reasonably suitable, especially as we had to stay over in South Beach on the way there and on the way back. With nearly a full day on the beach before catching the 90 minute flight to the island it gave us a chance to turn our bodies from pure white to off white (or slightly pink).

We arrived in the early evening and had to wait a short while for transportation to the resort which from the airport can take anywhere from one hour to two hours depending on how many stops the bus has to make. Hedonism III is at Runaway Bay which is the last stop on the route.  But we were lucky as this trip only made two stops and our journey took around 60 minutes.

A friendly bellman took us to our room, and gave us the daily events and entertainment schedule.  Wednesday was fetish night.  Luckily we had been forewarned about the costumes and brought along our favorite FF outfits.  We quickly got "dressed" and went off to meet our small group of friends from Fantasy Fest at the big bar. It's just like FF, everybody goes with the theme.  One good thing is you don't need pockets for cash or credit card as this resort is all inclusive, something we really enjoyed throughout our stay.

All inclusive at Hedonism 111 means just that; all meals, drinks, activities and entertainment are included and tipping is not permitted. It's tucked away on Jamaica's North Coast and has an enticing menu of hedonistic amenities and services to suit all guilty pleasures.  A nude beach and a prude beach, nude pool, a clothing optional pool and prude pool (needless to say we never explored the "prude" areas).   A nude Jacuzzi that squeezes in as many as possible late at night and the bar next to it stays open till the last person leaves.

We had to sign a waiver not to take pictures past this point.

Our room, Room 614, was right by the nude pool and no mistaking the ladies bathrooms

The next day The Travel Slut (she loves that name) had arranged for us all to go on a cruise along the North Shore. A perfect day; clouds, a little wind and plenty of Red Stripe and Rum on board. Also joining us were a few local "entertainers" that not only served the drinks but did a bit of partying themselves.  It was all in good fun of course. Tony had to help show everybody how to put on a lifejacket just in case and Cheri found the bar.

It was a little choppy at first.

Not sure who was being entertained.

It was time to relax and enjoy the view and a few more Red Stripes.

The captain dropped anchor in a nice sheltered lagoon close to the world famous Dunn River Falls which enabled us all to cool off and have some fun in the warm Caribbean Sea.

Cheri enjoyed diving; frontwards, sideways and backwards (that one hurt).

Time to put some clothes on, wave the Jamaican flag and sing some great songs with our bus driver on the way back to the resort. Naturally he had a $5 CD for sale of all our favorites.

Everyday the maid designed something different for us and left it on our bed.

Toga Night, Mmmmmm oh well, we forgot ours, but some of the ladies were able to improvise.

We had enough energy left for a few dances in the disco, well Cheri did and we knew the late night hot tub could soothe away any aches and pains.

The next morning we woke up to torrential rain, so what better to do than wear as little as possible, have breakfast and a glass of champagne.

Something new to us was rock painting. Ann brought the paints, brushes and prizes for the best decorated rock.  So as the rain stopped we all got out our brushes and went to work.

Anybody guess who painted which one??

Cheri won a "small" prize and she was so proud she would not put it down.

The penis cup went everywhere with her for the remainder of the trip...LOL

Did not need a map here, but the big board came in useful so we decided to tour the grounds.

The resort has everything, from pool to water pool, boating, one arm bandits, table tennis, regular tennis and basketball courts. We stuck to the ones that saved our energy.

Ann had arranged for a painter to stop by, actually he paints rocks for people, but after our group's session he said he was looking forward to a different career opportunity.

Tonight was birthday night so instead of eating at the Tropical Terrace, which is the huge buffet restaurant, we made reservations at Pastafari, one of the two more formal restaurants at the resort. The hit of the party, a gift to the birthday girl, was Peter Pecker, now nicknamed Dick, actually Mr. Big Dick by the group and everybody wanted their picture taken with this guy.

It was time to change in to our costumes, tonight being a Jamaica theme but we wanted to stay a little more formal as it was a special night. The gold, green and black accents helped  Tony blend in though.

Always get to know your bartender.

 Dick was still going strong.  But like most men, when he lost his vigor a little blowing brought him right back to life.

It's been a fun night, the disco stays open till whenever, but the main bar gave us a little quiet time.

Cheri finishes the night trying to win a few Hedo Bucks.

The next morning it was decision time, do we pay $40 each way for a cab ride to visit The Hard Rock Cafe in Ocho Rios, BUY food and drinks or just sit and laze in the sun by the pool???         Well that was easy.

The smaller nude pool can get a little loud during the afternoon, what with music and the staff trying to get people to participate in games and competitions.  Plus once the pool volleyball game gets started there is nowhere to swim or even relax, so we headed over to the much larger and more tranquil pool for a few hours.

Hedonisim III is not really a place to relax, it's a party place 24/7.  Yes you can find a little quiet time, but there is always something happening.  We were able to take a few minutes to enjoy a wonderful sunset before the evening's activities began.

Dinner this evening was in the other formal restaurant, Munasan, certainly on par with any Benihana's restaurant and it's free.

Well the red dress did not last too long, which pleased everybody.  Neither did the black hair, but were we thinking about our 7:25 am flight back to Miami tomorrow morning?????

Without a watch and the great music coming from the disco we knew we could sleep in a great Marriott bed all the next day so why turn in early?

We think we would not be doing justice to this report if we did not alert you to other activities that happen at Hedonism III. This resort is not for the prudish, it does have it's "prude beach" and normal vacation options, but venturing in to the nude pool and jacuzzi tub area you may see more than you bargained for. Numerous sexual activities can happen and do, at all hours of the day and night, either in or out of the pool.  As one friend told us, "it's like a train wreck, you really don't want to watch but you can't help it".

Does this resort cater to nudists, different lifestyles, exhibitionists, people who are comfortable with their own body and people who just love to have fun?         YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE.

On the "normal" side of things, the food and service was excellent, the rooms were very nice and everything was spotless. We must admit we were hesitant about going to an all inclusive resort, but we certainly would return to this one and maybe even try others around the world. The only bad part is having to leave at least 4 hours in advance to get to the airport.  You can sign a waiver to catch a later bus, which we did, but we were still sitting at the gate 2 hours before our plane took off.  Now this was a very early flight and not in the busy season so we may recommend you really check it out because if you sign the form and miss the flight you don't get any compensation from the resort.  We just dislike sitting in airports and getting up early!

South Beach

Back to normal. We love the Art-Deco area of South Beach and The Marriott is right in the heart of it.  Hopefully on a future layover we will be able to spend a little more time taking a look around.  One thing here though, look at the restaurant and bar bill closely because most add an 18% tip and don't tell you. I'm sure we've given a nice healthy 36% tip to a waitress one of these times.

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